Tuesday, November 5, 2013

San Francisco: Year One

The print I hanging up at home, love this guy.
Last week marked my one year anniversary in San Francisco, and what a wonderful year it's been! People who've known me over the years might be familiar with the fact that I sometimes like to roundup a year or experience with a collection of quotes, Maggie Alderson style (for those Australians out there who used to read Style Notes in the weekend paper).  With that, here's my first year in SF - summarised by a sampling of encounters from the last 12 months, enjoy!

Me: Would it be too weird if I wore thongs to work?
American colleague: Why… are you asking me this?
Me: Flip flops!  I mean flip flops!

Me: (At work) I know, I’m cleaning my laptop with beer and a post-it note because I can’t be bothered to get wipes.  What’s wrong with me?
Googler buddy: It’s ok, I saw someone washing a peach with sparkling water the other day.

Cashier at Plant Cafe: So just checking I’ve got your order right: there’s two poached eggs, subbing in a fruit salad on the side, a banana smoothie with a protein shot, then another set of poached eggs, with greens instead of potatoes and green smoothie subbing in coconut water instead of almond milk.
Me: Yep that’s right
Aussie expat buddy: When did we become like this?

(Meeting Silicon Valley overachievers)
New buddy: Do you have any hobbies?
Me: Um, sure - I guess I like to go running sometimes
New buddy: Oh great, like ultramarathons?
Me: No, no… more like regular run-down-the-block-and-back… style of… running.

(Meeting Silicon Valley overachievers - Take 2)
Me: I don’t really have a special skill to be honest.
New buddy 1: You’re a cute girl in tech - that’s rare?
Me: I’m not convinced that’s a skill.  Also, that “skill” has an expiry date.
New buddy 2: Well, so do mine.  I mean, I was only the Rubik’s cube world champion for 2011.

(At Dolores Park)
Hipster: Anybody want some (hash) cookies?
Me: *Looking blankly at him*
Hipster: Oh, don’t worry - they’re 100% organic.
Me: That’s not why I’m hesitating.

Our Director reviewing a chart I put together: So, if we change the date ranges, the curve will just go straight up right?
An actual BA in the room: I’m… not sure that’s true.
Me: So, that’s not actually a regression line… I just sort of drew it up using the curve tool…
Director: …
Me: I went to art school, ok!

SF cab driver: Whenever I want to meet women, I go to Whole Foods. Forget the bars, forget the clubs - you meet a girl at Whole Foods and you jus' *know* she's into organic, and daaamn! Them organic women are good!

Googler buddy: Should we do the slide now?
Me: What presentation is this for?
Googler buddy: No, I’m talking about the actual slide.  Like, in the foyer.


Kate said...

That regression line one always makes me laugh. You're the best. And Happy One Year!

Michelle C. said...

This sounds about right. Happy one year! We've been so lucky to have you.

Unknown said...

+1 on the curve tool. That tale gets me every time! Happy 1 year my dear xx

Thelma said...

Happy Anniversary, my favourite art student/designer/googler... i love all your stories - love you..

Amelia Lane Paper said...

Love this! Happy One Year! x

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